Marriage after dating
A military combat deployment is one of the most emotionally super-charged environments imaginable. The threat of loss of the other boosts attraction considerably for both partners.Lack of access to each other, paired with short-lived reunions during R & R weekends, fuels unrealistic fantasies of the true potential of the relationship.In each audience that I’ve spoken to about marital decision-making, there is almost always someone who raises a hand and says, “My parents fell in love and got married a month later, and they’ve been completely happy together for the last 50 years.” The core of this statement is an assertion that lifelong happy marriages are possible with very short courtships. So, in all cases, if we were to honestly weigh the emotional, psychological, and financial costs of a bad decision, wouldn’t wisdom in all cases suggest a relatively long courtship? This is good advice, but I think it's pointless unless you counsel couples to start having sex after a reasonable time of couple-dom, say, six months.If couples wait to have sex until they are married, and wait two years to get married, they have no idea how they will after the initial glow of sex wears off.
If you are looking for a general rule of thumb, then two years is probably a good length of time for most people, but I don’t personally favor any hard-and-fast rule about how long a courtship should be.When I give talks on how to make wise decisions about love relationships, the burning question that someone almost always asks is, “How long do I have to wait?” The phrasing of this question illustrates the fact that waiting can feel like working against the tide of biology and the romantic rush of falling in love and making it official.I think it depends completely on the character of the people involved, how often they see each other, in what situation(s) they spend their time dating, and how intentional they are about discovering their degree of fit.In some cases, it may be wise to wait three or more years before making a decision, and in other cases, a couple may be able to make a wise decision in less than two years. ” If you are thinking along these lines, the question to ask is, “When might it be wise to wait three years or longer?