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If that didn’t turn her off, then the subsequent emails from the same men asking why she was an ageist definitely did.It’s okay to state some basic requirements, such as whether you’re willing to date someone who smokes or who has children.

To oversimplify what I mean, let’s take coffee for example. Only use current photos in your profile: One of the most common complaints I hear from men is that women frequently misrepresent themselves in their photos by using old photos (sometimes decades old) or by cropping them in too tightly so you don’t realize they are of a certain body type.

Some practiced daters have a standard letter they send to every single person they find even mildly attractive.

Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to write a personalized message responding to specific items in your profile, not send a generic cut-and-paste letter saying, “Hey girl, I saw your profile and was intrigued …” Think about the hundreds of other people who’ve gotten the same letter, and decide whether you’re willing to accept only the barest minimum of effort.

Some brazen daters even post contradictory information right on their profile (“I’m really forty, even though I listed my age as thirty-five”), as justification for trying to show up in more searches for “men over six feet tall,” or “women under forty.” Presenting oneself in the best light is one thing, but outright lying is quite another.

Online dating was supposed to make it easier to meet and screen potential dates, but sometimes it seems as if it’s just added one more layer of effort that requires you to filter out the crazies to get to the good ones.

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